JESUS! I NEED YOU! - my heart but a quote from Ben Woodman at Fuel, June 2005.
I need your grace, I want your grace, what is your grace? What is grace? I'll look it up..sometime soon. What is God's grace? Jesus, may I find it. Let this wisdom you say I have know of your grace. Please, father.
Jesus take the anger away. When it comes up, work through it with me. I pray that you would make me one who does not push down but one who runs to the throne to deal...to be free. To be healed by your love and mercy and kindness and goodness. I love you Lord.
This line that is blinking and moving everytime I hit some more keys is the one that has moved backwards because of this one button with a backward arrow. So many thoughts written down and then this urge to just erase it. That is weird. Interesting.
I love people so much and I think that is why I hurt so bad as well. My emotions may be extreme or maybe, hopefully, I am just sensitive to the heart of God sometimes. I'd like to be more and more. I'd love to be one with him. I think I am cause it might say so in the word. I should check that 0ut sometime soon.
Jess, I really enjoyed talking with you. I love you lots. Maria, be ready. For what I don't know but I hear 'be ready'.
Worship is for God alone. Worship is not a time to talk to others and dilly dally. Keep pressing in, please, and I don't think that is a plea from just my heart. Besides, if you talk during worship, what will you talk about later when God has set aside time to fellowship with other believers? He made us in relationship. He wants us to talk to each other just as he yearns for us to talk to him. When you do something great and then others ignore giving you praise, how do you feel? He is Lord, he created emotions and the mind. Imagine you just saved a life. Many people saw you save a life but instead of giving you a reward, they talk to thier friends and family about what they wore that day or the weather. I think you'd feel angered maybe?! Jesus, I pray you teach us what worship is. Really, truely, deeply, honestly. That we would understand what you are teaching and do as you have asked or told us to do. I guess I challenge you to go into worship with an expectation to meet with him and not to give up. I challenge you not to talk to anyone but the Trinity in your next 'worship session'. He deserves your worship and He desserves it whole heartedly! Bless you all and I definatly love you.

Suffering is God's megaphone to a deaf world - C.S.Lewis
I just like that, that's y I wrote that. It isn't what this blog is about or anything but I wanted it on here. Interesting view huh?
I wrote a blog a while ago but it did not publish because I clicked no intsead of yes for something. I was angry writing the blog and that made em even more angry so I just said forget it.
Anyways...this will be a short one maybe and probably pretty pointless. I don't want things in my life to be pointless. I want everything I say, everything I do to have a purpose. Is that possible? Sometimes in life we do things we don't really want to do but is it bad? Is it pointless? It may seem like it at the moment but I'm not so sure.
Jesus, help me be happy with what I have, and where I am and who you have me to be right now. Where in your word do you tell me not to compare to others and why? Please show me. I want to be a woman who obeys your word not becasue I have to but because I want to - simply out of loving you. Loving you in response to you loving me.
I trust you Lord and I say Yes to your plans - even though they are not so fun at times. I don't know what is going on with my living situation since my house has sold. I don't know what hours I am working at Star Five. Is there always a question mark somewhere is someones life? I am not stressing out though, I think I have lots of peace. God knows what is happening and he will tell me when I ask him what to do. Not one sparrow goes without, and he cares for me much more. We have a relationship and I love him and He loves me. Ooooh!
I have other things to do now but still wanted to let you know I am alive and even when I'm not thinking something..I'm still thinking something. Ya.
Love you and bless you all.

the first one

I've wanted to start a blog for some time now but will I keep it up? Will I be committed to pushing keyboard buttons to express things in my mind or in my heart? Will I continue if people know or even care? I will wait and see, won't I?
Lately I have been thinking about being stubborn or anal. A few people have said that I am these things. Anal about the food I eat. I want to be healthy and yes it is true I want to loose weight. Anal because sometimes I like to know the details. Stubborn because I won't give up easily. Is that a good thing? I would think so but ppl say it in such a negative tone. I want to be persistant in my faith; persistant is in a thesarus I have next to stubborn. Not so persistant that I frighten ppl away, or i seem intimidating but persistant because I know my God. Jesus, show me how to live. Jesus, show me what life is. And once you show me, oh my lover, may I follow with all my heart, mind and strength. Every breath I have, may it be praise to you! I can go off on so many tangents but I think I shall retire from this moment and go on to the next. Love and bless you all.