a worthy heart

one who lives by grace and believes by faith

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Location: Maple Ridge, British Columbia, Canada

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

recordar

Spanish for remember
I go away on a retreat and learn so much but sure do miss everyone at home. So much to say...but there is a worry of putting it in order and all systematic and everything.
I was scared to leave. Friday night was a kids club at our church and I wanted to be there to help and hang out with the kids so bad. Saturday was play practice and fuel. I wanted to be to those even more than the Friday night. Sunday morning was Family service and dang, to miss that...I was broken. These are things I had to lay at the cross daily, maybe minute-ly Wed, Thursday and throughout the weekend. Die to self. Losing life only to find life. I get home Sunday and ask people how the weekend went and people say good. The world goes on without me but I am needed and wanted but it is not reliant on me. Praise God. I am not the Savior of the World. YES!
The whole weekend was out of Psalm 84:4-7. Blessed are those who dwell in your house, they will forever be praising you. Praise Him always and you will be blessed. A pilgrim is one who journeys through a foreign land but has vision toward something. This became a revelation to me Friday night, Saturday morning. I am on a pilgrimage. Nothing around me is secure but the vision and road I am walking on to Jesus Christ. Sleeping on my mother's couch, housesitting for a month, starting a new job...nothing around me feels secure. And the best part is that it's good I am not secure in my surroundings because that is not where my security comes from. My hope is in God.
Why live ugly when you can live beautifully?! How are you living ugly? How can I live that beautifully? Are you happy with the history you are leaving? Just some questions. Search your heart and ask God to help you answer these and work on these in your life.
For a while now...Jesus has been showing me that He is backing me up. When I say 'ish' or 'something' I am unsure about what I am saying or I don't want to step on anyone's toes. I've got to stop that. It is not who Jesus has created me to be. John 5:32 says 'There is another who testifies in my favor, and I know that his testimony about me is valid'. I only want to do what I see the Father doing (also in John 5...verse 19). I don't want to leave a history of being doubtful and wavering. This is one way I am living ugly. Jesus told me He would teach me and He would speak. But I have to know His words. I have to Believe it, speak it, do it and receive it. There has to be co-operation between me and my Savior. This can be made beautiful living.
Pass through the valley of weeping. PASS THROUGH. Do not stay there. Here are some things that can make you stay: not dealing with loses (walk through grief, don't bottle it up), being angry at God (when you are in the valley, that is when your true image of God will be tested), hanging on to bitterness, unforgiveness and revenge (don't drink poison hoping someone else is going to die), self pity (victim mentality), fear (of future, past, provision, to get hurt again)...Your identity is not what you do. He didn't choose you to do a whole bunch of things for Him, He choose you because He delights in you.
They make it a place of springs. THEY MAKE IT. How, you may ask? Take back your will to choose. Own your stuff and don't play the blame game. You may not be responsible for what happens to you in your life but you are responsible for how you respond. Process your emotions. It's alright to be angry, but don't sin in your anger. Remember the faithfulness of God. Forget the former things and move on. Do you want to struggle with the same things you are now, 5 years from now? I sure hope not! Your past doesn't determine your future. Jesus blood is enough for you. When those tapes of lies start playing, push stop on the tapeplayer. INSERT A NEW TAPE with the promises and truths of God. You will be transformed by the renewing of your mind (Romans 8:2). Speak life and not death. Deut30:19 - choose life not death. The enemy is the accuser, He doesn't need your help. Control your thoughts and tongue. Guard them. Pray the answer instead of the problem. Instead of grumble grumble to God, speak his will, which is the word. Pray life over the problems. Don't isolate. Satan loves detached believers. We need each other. Jesus told us to love real people, not ideal people. Keep doing right, even when you don't feel like it. Gal 6:9. Don't give up. Sing. Go from strength to strength. Know where your strength comes from. Your greatest struggle s will be your greatest victories.
This is a lot to share with ya'll. Couple more things...Jesus had me read Luke 12. Here, in this chapter He talks about many things. First, He talks about hypocrisy and accepting Him. Then He talks about greed and rich men. He then talks about not worrying about what to eat or wear because the Father knows already what we need. If the Father in heaven feeds the birds, he will feed us as well. He continues with being ready for the return of the bridegroom and ends with a bit of His mission. In this one chapter, Christ is all over the map and yet it all fits. This encouraged me. I feel like when I speak, I am all over the place. Jesus showed me this bit of scripture and spoke to me through it. He is teaching me daily of how to live for Him in relationship. I love Him and He loves me.
I pray that the Lord would bless you as well and bring His glory upon you. Love you all.
Salina

Sunday, September 04, 2005

little thank u's

Jesus, I never want to take things for granted. Thank you for your grace! Thank you for your love and your blood. Thank you, Jesus, for your gift of friendship. We really don't deserve anything and yet you choose, because of your love, to just give and give and take away. You are holy. I thank you, Lord, for the gift of others in my life, for the presence of people. Sometimes I want to be alone with you, but thank you for friends. Thank you for using other people to speak through. Thank you! Thank you! I love you! May you please bless and keep and revive the hearts of those close to me and those in authority in Maple Ridge, British Columbia, and Canada...and the world. AMEN!

Friday, September 02, 2005

!? help me ?! PLEASE !?

You see the depths of my heart and you love me the same.

Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. If we are living now by the Holy Spirit, let us follow the Holy Spirit's leading in every part of our lives. Let us not become conceited, or irritate one another, or be jealous or envious of one another. - Galations 5:24-26

These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far away. - Matthew 15:8

If you love me, obey my commandments/do as I command. - John 15:14

Prophetic word:
Ben Woodman at SOZO, September 2005

There will be an outpouring of love and anointing on Maple Ridge. We are hearing what God is saying and we are taking the book of his will for Maple Ridge of a library shelf and blowing on it, dusting it off and opening it. We are saying YES to what he has written in his book and are going to help how we can and watch the story unfold for this time. There will be a lot of opposition from the inside and the outside. You are going to have to fight for and guard the unity that is growing. Pray tons! Humility is key here. There is going to come an example from here to the surrounding cities, provinces and to the nation. Youth ministries are going to grow this year, double in size.

With this Jesus, I pray that you prepare us and teach us. Give us strength as you stretch our tent pegs further, wider. Give us joy, Father, and your love to outpour as you promise. AMEN!

What is going on?