lost and found

How do I express my life right now? It has to be some what short cause it is before youth and I am not a very fast typer. I am workin' a whole lot because I am going to Alberta and Saskatchewan on the 14th till the 23rd or somethin' like that. I am trying to move into a storage and my mom's when I find I have time. I miss my friends-or whatever they are.
I don't know who I am, I think. Why do I do the things I do? Who is this man who died for me? The lies come: I am inadequet and not as good as so and so and I can't speak and I don't have good management skills and ... but we do have a stop button. There may be a difference in knowing there is a stop button and actually pushing it. Stop, stop, stop, in the name of the Lord. And if the lies stop I entice them to follow still by questions: is this just me denying reality or is this really the opposite of who God says I am? Am I who he says I am? blah blah blah Stop, stop, stop, in the name of the Lord! Jesus Christ, I pray that you help me. Change me on the inside and outside. Change me. I want to be Christian. I want to be more like you. I want to say I will be. Father, I love you. Thank you for loving me. May I please know of this love deeper and deeper so I can understand the above questions, so I can live my life the way you intended me to. Thank you everyone for being who you are in my life. Special mention to John, Jared-moving and sharing with me, Christa, Maria and Jeff-for ears and stretching oppertunities, Adam-for including me, and Mom-I love you and I pray my actions would show it more.